


Alexia's Alphabet

by aphreal



Category: Dragon Age, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alphabet, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphreal/pseuds/aphreal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of alphabet drabbles for my headcanon Warden, Alexia Cousland, focusing on her personal journey through Origins and the development of her relationship with Alistair.<br/>Written in no particular order or schedule.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A is for Armor

She hasn't taken it off since her family was killed.  
Alexia has always been more comfortable in leather and steel than satin or silk, preferring practicality over beauty. But now it's about more than durability; it's about protection. The armor keeps her safe. Not just from the darkspawn and bandit attacks – although Maker knows there have been enough of those to justify it – but from everything.  
The metal wrapped around her body also protects her heart. If she can maintain the image of a hard, capable warrior, no one will look at her and see a scared, lonely orphan, a coward who fled while everyone she loved died.  
Her armor is the barrier she uses to keep anyone from getting too close, from finding out how broken she is or making her feel things she isn't sure she's strong enough to handle. She needs her armor to maintain that distance, to keep her isolated and safe. And it works.  
Until him.


	2. C is for Campfire

That’s where it begins, really: sitting beside a fire in the middle of the night, the only two people awake in the camp.   
After waking up from Warden dreams, they relieve whoever’s on watch. She knows she won’t be able to sleep again, and he craves company after the darkspawn-tinged nightmares. They might as well be awake together.   
So they sit together by the campfire, stirred up for light to drive away the shadows, and talk about nothing until the dawn finds them. It becomes a pattern, an unconscious habit of seeking one another for comfort.   
As time passes, they grow close almost without realizing it.


	3. L is for Laughter

She thought for a while that she had forgotten how to laugh.   
After Highever, after Ostagar, there hadn’t been much reason. Except that he’s always at her side, saying the most ridiculous things. She knows he can’t mean half of what he says, and she assumes initially that it’s his form of armor, a defense against the world. In part, she still believes that’s true.   
But as they grow closer, he continues, making light of things, offering extravagant compliments, rarely serious. At first, she wonders if he still doesn’t trust her, feels the need to keep her at a distance.   
Then she realizes that he’s doing it for her, trying to make her laugh.   
And it’s working. She’s finding joy in life again, which may be a bigger miracle than anything else they’ve seen or done.   
So when a moment comes that he loses hope, she tries to return the favor, saying the first frivolous thing that comes into her mind. Surprised, he stares at her for a moment before reacting.   
Then the sound of his laughter echoes through the barren stone cells, and Fort Drakon no longer feels like a prison.


	4. Q is for Queen

She never expected to be queen.   
Growing up, she hadn’t even thought she’d be a teyrna like her mother, likely an arlessa at most. It hadn’t particularly bothered her; rank never seemed to have that much to do with happiness, as far as she could tell.   
Even in her childhood games of pretend, she hadn’t imagined being queen. She preferred to be warriors and heroes: King Calenhad, Sarim Cousland, even Teyrn Loghain.   
Admittedly, there had been the summer she’d wanted to be Queen Rowan after learning about her role in the battles of Maric’s rebellion. But standing here before the woman’s throne, planning to take her place, it’s strange to think about that now.   
Looking around at the assembled nobility of the Landsmeet, she wonders how many of them think she did all of this for the throne. They’re wrong; it was always for him.   
He never wanted to be king, but that doesn’t matter. His bloodline would make him a threat to anyone else in power, and she can’t take that risk. She could never trust Anora to leave an heir alive and free, a challenger who could serve as a rallying point for the discontent or ambitious. So he has to be king to keep him safe.   
And Alexia can’t bear the thought of being without him, so it seems that she will have to be queen.


	5. W is for Witch

She can’t believe what she’s about to ask him to do.   
He’s the first man she’s ever loved, and she’s forcing him into the arms – bed – of another woman, a woman he hates.   
She wonders if the hatred makes it easier for her, knowing he doesn’t want this, that he’ll only be doing it for her. It would be worse if she thought he might enjoy it. Does that make her selfish or simply smart?   
She knows that he’ll agree; he would do anything for her right now. What she doesn’t know is whether he’ll forgive her afterwards. But it doesn’t really matter. Angry is better than dead.   
Everyone else Alexia has ever loved is dead, and she won’t let him join them.


End file.
